Friday, September 12, 2008

The Mourning After

I don't have many people I like to call friends. I am careful with the term. There are acquaintances and there are friends. In my life there is a very clear line between the two.

If you have known me for a while, you know how much I like to write. You also know that I greatly appreciate people who write back. There was a time when I was blogging pretty frequently on MySpace. Through my wife and her friends I met a woman named Ana.

Ana would comment on nearly every single one of my blogs. She asked questions and even requested more blogs when I would go on hiatus. She seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say which I have to admit, is like drugs for an amateur writer like myself. She really seemed to enjoy writing about and discussing dreams and their interpretation. I actually wrote a few blogs specifically at her request.

One thing I especially admired about her was her dedication to her daughter. Her page was plastered with photos of her and we literally watched her grow through the years.

After dealing with the obtrusive ads, constant crashing and altogether frustrating removal of features, I stopped posting my blogs there. I searched for an alternative and finally came here to BlogSpot/Blogger. I have since blogged about many topics that she would have normally had very interesting things to add to but I noticed she hadn't posted a single time.

Last night I decided to sign in to MySpace and look up a few of my old readers. I posted a message on her page telling her about The Silent Podium. I don't make it a habit of reading other people's personal messages on their profiles so I hadn't noticed people posting their goodbye's and messages of love and mourning. It wasn't until I received a personal message from one of her friends that I learned that she had passed away last February.

I never met Ana or her daughter in person, yet her surprising death affected me more so than some people I have known first hand. Perhaps it was her kind, intelligent personality, or her unadulterated love and devotion to her daughter. I don't know what happened. I don't know the details. I only know she is gone and she will be missed.

My condolences go out to her friends, family and most of all her daughter.

I regret that I never got to tell her how she inspired me nor that I considered her a friend. I regret that I never got to say goodbye. Thank you Ana, for being who you were.


aJILLity said...

Hi there, I'm Jill. I came across your "group" by accident. I'm really glad I did, though. I'm looking for exactly what you are looking for in blogging. I'm super new to it but I LOVE writing. I also like to get to know other people. I'm really shy and reserved-but have SO much to say. I look forward to meeting you through your writing and maybe even becoming a version of your Ana =)

<3 Jill

HektikLyfe said...

As a youth I was really shy, until I met my wife. I think I'm still a little shy when I meet people in person. Online its another matter entirely. I think we're all extroverts here.

As for Ana, her family might argue that she could never be replaced.

But Jill's are more than welcome to participate! :)

Sarah Jane said...

Oh my gosh, I didn't expect to read that. How sad. I assume she was too young to die, being that she has a daughter you have watched grow up on myspace. I bet you were shocked to hear that. It's good that someone got in touch with you.

HektikLyfe said...

You personally know how carefully I choose my acquaintances. It was shocking and terribly sad. Even though I had never met her I do really feel like I lost a friend. :(