Wednesday, September 30, 2009

...and a child led them.

This blog post is purely of a hypothetical nature, on many different levels. So if you decide to read and contemplate what I have to say, keep that in mind.

Yes, I know quoting and misquoting biblical verses is playing a dangerous game. Sometimes I like to contemplate the possibilities, impossibilities and even near probabilities. It makes the time pass on a person's commute. :)

So today I was thinking about that oh so often mistranslated quote from Isaiah 11:6.
The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.

That is the King James version. I know there are MANY different versions all with tiny differences in the choice of words and even order but the general message seems to remain the same. The hidden underlying messages, I can't quite say. ;)

BUT! It IS what I think just MAY be a hidden underlying message that I am going to be covering and uncovering today.

Age is symbolic in the Bible's.

Jesus had an incredibly influential and dramatic life. So much so that anyone with the slightest bit of a mind they can call their own, wonders about what happened to the Messiah between ages 12 and 30. If you are at all familiar with Christian/Catholic versions of the Bible's then you may already have wondered about this yourself. There are MANY theories about what Jesus did during that time but the most interesting have been about WHERE Jesus was. Many different stories ranging from Jesus in England to Jesus in India.

Side-note about the Indian theory, traditionally and historically, the Christian and Catholic faiths have been known to incorporate the beliefs of other religions in order to absorb their membership.

1. Immortality of the soul -Egyptian -Babylonian and Greek philosophies and religions
2. Burning place of torment -ancient Babylonian and Buddhist teachings (7 "hells" cold and hot)
3. Easter -ancient goddess of fertility (Astarte) symbolized by the fertile rabbits and eggs.
4. Christmas December 25th -birthday of the Sun in the sky above, worshiped by the Egyptians, Romans etc.
5. Trinity -one of the oldest and most common beliefs among the pre-Christian religions. There are literally dozens of trinities in pagan religions.

The Roman Catholic Church, and others that followed, began to accept and integrate most teachings that its followers felt were a requirement for their loyalty. (and loyalties ;)

A particular Indian belief of interest is the Avatar. A corporeal representation of God himself. Not the son of God but GOD himself incarnated. To this day some Christian and Catholic groups still argue target this very same topic though from a third person perspective a person could see how similar these two theories are.

This information and corroboration could be found in many different places, including Catholic Encyclopedia's which is where I linked to above.

Now with that said, lets move forward and look at the significance of numbers, specifically age. People recorded as living for hundred's of years. Adam 900 if I'm not mistaken. I've always been told this was mostly symbolic as a sign of respect given to symbols held in high regard. I don't know if this is exactly true or not, any of it for that fact but it does propose an interesting precedent.

What IF the numbers are only significant in their message and not in their historical fact? A theme that seems prevalent in the bible itself. Jewish boys become "men" at 13 during their Barmitsvah but Jesus, born Jewish vanished from 12 until he reached 30 years of age...or did he?

My theory is this: What if Jesus did NOT die at 33? What if 33 was the symbolic number given to him because of its at the time, symbolic and powerful nature?

What if Jesus was put on the cross at a much younger, perhaps at 13 years of age?

What if all the words and miracles that Jesus performed in his older age were instead performed at that earlier stage in his life? Consider that and read the famous passages again. They hold new meaning, it makes many things fit. ...and it sure makes his death and sacrifice a LOT more dramatic not to mention how it shines new light on the willingness and ease of which the masses allowed themselves to follow a child speaking so confidently and eloquently as well as "justifying" the Roman's skepticism.

When crucified, his weight would not be an issue accelerating the death on the cross so a spearing would seem necessary to speed up the process or confirm the death. Brutal, viscous, martyr.

Like with any theory it makes many more things a little difficult to understand but if you are anything like I am, you may find that theory intriguing and oddly unsettling.

A child did lead them.

"And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."

It always seemed strange to me that "Jesus Messiah" had to "learn" anything. Yet he knew so much already without learning. Why were there exclusions to his ingrained omniscience? There should never have been any stage of learning since he always was what he was born as. Though if he was only restrained by physical inability, it would make more sense when you read about how the Jews were so amazed with his knowledge as well as ability to read when he went to Jerusalem as a youth.

To be a little more conspiratorial lets try to imagine who or why that other number, 13, would be made into a "bad luck" number. A number to avoid.

Or not. :)

Addtionial Links

Stand to Reason
Catholic Encyclopedia
Indian Avatar

Friday, September 11, 2009

Blurbs - Convenient Recollection

Today has officially been named National Day of Service and Remembrance Day.

I wonder how many hundreds of thousands of dollars it cost to have Washington put that useless label on the day. Sure I feel bad for those who suffered. Sure I feel bad for the families that suffered losses, for the businesses that suffered afterward and everyone in the U.S. basically that suffered from the attack. How does this help? Almost 10 years later.

It isn’t a holiday. Businesses don’t shut down. Are we supposed to greet each other with “Happy National Day of Service and Remembrance Day?” Or is this only to spur support for this war no one wants to be a part of but those that stand to gain financially from it?

Washington, keep your label and instead have all your employees donate 1 day’s pay to help fix our crappy public education system. Or just donate those funds to the families that lost members during the event or the invasion that followed.

Good mourning. (I wrote this blog in the morning but got caught up at work.)


There is NO MORE...ignore the read more link. Instead take a look at the other 9/11 blogs I've posted in the past. :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Urinal Regulations

There should be a commonly understood set of rules, nay, COMMANDMENTS that all men should abide by. I was under the impression that they were understood but unspoken since the topic itself is taboo and even mentioning it could cause some guys to cringe.

As outspoken as I have apparently become I guess it’s time for me to dab a bit in the dark side of…


I. Thou shalt keep discourse to a minimum. (You would hate to have a joke interfere or persuade an unexpected bowel movement.)

II. There shall be no speaking whatsoever at the urinal. (There is nothing quite as disconcerting as speaking with another man with your package in your palm.)

III. NEVER look another man in the face while you are in the restroom. A casual nod or simple “Hello” as you enter or leave the restroom will suffice.

IV. If there are other stalls, use them. Do not run to reserve a recently used porcelain. Then the previous resident walks away with some guilt for the next occupant basking in his ambiance.

V. There shall be no contact whatsoever, ESPECIALLY not skin to skin.

VI. If you MUST speak, do it at the sink and don’t make eye contact. Courtesy is not required. No feminine “Thank you very much” or “That’s very kind of you” statements are acceptable.

VII. No one shall acknowledge any flatulence while in the restroom. Neither the whiffers nor the wafters.

VIII. DO NOT under any circumstances choose a urinal next to another man if there is one with at least one free urinal between you. Try for two if there is no divider. There is no pleasantry that could possibly follow a tinkle sprinkle.

IX. NO CELL PHONES ALOWED! This is like church. An active cell phone conversation must be concluded BEFORE the caller enters the restroom. This benefits every party involved. The remote caller isn’t offended, the local caller doesn’t have to try to convince the other party that it “wasn’t them” and the restroom crew isn’t forced to clinch any biological process to avoid inevitable satellite broadcasting.

X. …and the most important commandment of all. WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS YOU DIRTY BASTARDS! The quantity of completely dry sinks with soap filled dispensers I run into is an absolute shame. I open the door with paper when I leave because I know 90% of men don’t wash. From San Bernardino to Beverly Hills, it’s all the same.

Please feel free to forward this message to all the men you know. I’d appreciate credit or a link back to my page but I know that’s a lot to ask…I’d rather have the message get out there.

It’s important.

Friday, September 4, 2009


Life is precious. Even to those people who mistreat their own bodies and others'. Even those people who kill. Their own life is precious or they wouldn't be trying so hard to survive beyond their means.

We often fight and bicker amongst ourselves and I find myself caught up in it. Once in a while I like to pause. Reflect on the things that have just transpired and it makes me laugh.

When I pause and look around at the world surrounding me, the trees, the clouds, the sun (indirectly of course) I contemplate the unlikeliness of our existence and it makes me smile. Here we are, arguing about the stupidest possible things.

"I want that office because that office has 2 more square feet."

"I can't believe she said that about me."

"President Obama said THAT!?! If you agree you're obviously ignorant."

Take the sun for example. Today is hot. That source of light and life is on average about 93 million miles away. 93 MILLION. We can't even feel the heat from a decent sized fire that is only a few feet away at a campsite.

Can you fathom that?

There is something so simple and miraculous up there that is, as far as I understand what I have been told is what Science currently understands, the entire reason we exist at all. It's up there, burning. Forging. Giving light and energy.

That is one little item in the sky full of billions and we bitch and bicker about really dumb shit that makes me angry that we don't appreciate sometimes.

Perhaps I'm going a bit overboard in my work frustrations but as I get older I get less and less patient with those people who believe that their needs supersede everyone else's. Everything is ASAP and must be put at the top of everyone's priority list though it clearly shouldn't and is more often then not in clear violation of company policy.

Even my own complaints are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

I apologize for the disorderly rant but I am SO ready for the weekend, aren't you?