Monday, September 29, 2008

Chopsticks & Pasta

My wife. She's a great one.

I work somewhere that takes me roughly 20 minutes to get to my car in the parking lot on an especially hot day. Because of this my lunch bag is usually filled to the brim with everything I would need to consume for the day including things like microwavable plates and occasionally utensils.

The utensils can be tricky since forks and knives can puncture my "cooler" style lunch bag. They have utensils in the cafeteria but they look at you kind of funny when you take them. You feel like a bandit when you grab a bag full of them to keep in the office.

Whenever (rarely) we go out to eat as a group, its usually to some type of Asian cuisine. They see my non-Asian face and they place a fork before me. I tell them its OK and ask for the chopsticks but request the wooden ones. I don't like using other people's utensils. Its kind of gross if you think about it. Wooden chopsticks are a great creation. Disposable and relatively clean! :)

I have had this discussion and experience with my wife in the past and she has taken notice. She was kind enough to buy me a few sets of my own fancy shmancy chopsticks. One package comes in a polished domino-holder style carrying case and another she took the time to sew me a little bag for.


These have saved me so much time! The only time I have to go "pull a jack-move" on the cafeteria is when I eat soup. Although potentially hilarious, eating soup with chopsticks wouldn't be real satisfying.

On a side note; I have been sick. Its a cold that just won't go away. I am still recovering. My body feels OK enough but I still have the sniffles so a box of tissue is still sitting resident at my desk. (Men don't have permanent tissue boxes at their desks. They only come out to play when they are needed.)

So I'm eating my lunch pasta with my chopsticks and when I'm done, I can't find any napkins. I don't want to head over to the break room to get them so I just use a tissue. A brand new, clean tissue. The idea is still gross to me though as I am thoroughly cleaning my new chopsticks. The full disgusting-ness of the whole ordeal doesn't yet dawn on me until someone walks by my desk and does a double take as I throw away a red, clumpy tissue.

Yeah.

Lunch is ruined for them but I walk away with a smirk.

7 comments:

Iris said...

You are a funny guy, you know that? Your writing just brings a smile to my face. I like the way you see the world. Nice chopsticks ;)

Nana Net said...

Must admit you have a way with words! And I do love the Chopstick Bag your wife made for you. Thanks so much for my laugh today!
Keep on posting my friend. Plus get over that cold too.

HektikLyfe said...

>Iris: You like my chopsticks? You should get a look at my dim sum!

>Nana: I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds me funny. "If no one else is laughing, then you're probably crazy," I never say.

Sarah Jane said...

I have read the last 2 paragraphs over and over and I don't get it.
ps. I LOVE the stuff Iris sews/makes/creates!!!

ryanmortinson said...

that's awesome. i find chopsticks to be very practical... take salad for example... it's always so stinkin hard to eat salad with a fork... but with chopsticks, it's no problem.

interesting fact... korean chopsticks are usually metal and they are flat, not round like chinese chopsticks. and they are called (roughly translated) "choo-kuh-lock".

HektikLyfe said...

>Sarah: People have been sick and I have been sniffling. So tissues are flying everywhere. My tissue was the only one red and covered in pasta. So the look of disgust wasn't one to be expected from someone who knows it is pasta but from someone who thinks it is something much worse. He probably thought I was dying.

>Ryan: Flat ones would seem a bit easier to grasp with. I will keep my eyes open for some around here. Thanks for the insight from the other side of the planet! :)

Sarah Jane said...

Eww. hahahaa!