Thursday, October 16, 2008

Poll - Bad Parents

There are so many parents teaching their kids the same ignorant habits they have. Things like racism, sexism and even little lessons like showing them that it is OK to be proud to be uneducated.

These same parents are unemployed and collecting support from the government. I think these leeches should not be allowed to take advantage of programs that people really need.

Could government regulation stop this? If people were limited to two children per household that would limit the amount of families that could live in one home and force people to have a home to provide a child before they decide to have one in a trailer park.

Are these goals too much to expect from people? Yet its OK for these same people to have children? Who are we to decide who gets to have children? The same people that end up paying for their food, education and eventual incarceration, that's who.

I say it IS our business. What about you?


Iris said...

In a fantasy world, people would have to go through at least 1 year of government-provided training before obtaining a license to have a child (ren)
Yes, this would be costly to provide the training, but at the same time the benefits would more likely outweigh the initial cost.

Training could include topics such as budgeting, common sense, saving money, marriage counseling and what it takes to stay together (even if the couple is not married), common courtesy, community, religion (not necessarily one sect or group, but how to respect religion)
politics and how it can benefit your family, basic parenting,discipline techniques and options, college savings and more.
After completing this free or low cost course, then the parents-to- be would obtain a license to have a child.
Parents would have to take courses every 5-10 years, for at least 1 week to prepare them for what to expect in the coming years.

Most parents today would probably pass, but there are a few who wouldn't and should not be allowed to have children until they take other assisting courses to make them capable of passing the course.
Some people make think that this isn't fair to people with learning disabilities (or other issues that hinder their chance to pass the course), but there would be aiding sources available to those potential parents with issues.
Refresher courses (offered at a shorter period of time-say one month, for example) would be available to "repeat" parents. UNLESS, the repeat parents are having children with another partner. Then, they would have to take a whole other course together for another year. This new course would include topics such as:
What to expect from an ex, how separation or divorce affects your child (ren), how to treat your step children and children to their best benefit, what resources are available if there are issues in the future etc.
There is more detail to my thought, believe it or not, but it gets more offensive. So, I will stop here. You get the picture.

Farhan said...

The government has absolutely no right to put a limitation on the number of children you can have. And license to have children? Thats just taking it too far. But by looking at the direction our world is heading today, I won't be surprised if they DO end up having the concept of parenting license. What we need to do is teach today's parents how to be better parents. But I think that so many people have been bad parents for such a long time now, that it will be hard to change.

Farhan said...

But hey, people seem to be satisfied with their sorry ass ways of raising children, no?

Sarah said...

It's terrifying to imagine the government having control over our bodies and families. The government has no business making those kinds of decision for us and the day they do will be the day I cry for my fellow citizens.

The suggestion of a 'government apporved' license to have kids would also scare the shit out of me. The government isn't this all-knowing power. They are just as stupid as the rest of us and in no way better qualified to mandate the way a nation of children are brought up.

Iris said...

The government is already involved in our lives.

An example, the police; If they didn't exist to guide those who are unruly, where would we be?
Not saying the police are the "best" monitors to have, but just imagine a world without the concept of police?

About the parent license, the ones to worry would be those who are bad parents: Child molesters, child abusers, child killers, neglecting parents etc.
These above-mentioned "bad parent" examples ARE allowed to have children today, RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT! And as many children as they want!
Of course, there are laws that protect the child from the negatives AFTER they are born and alive, but the bad situation can have a negative effect in their lives :( Who is to say those bad parents are ALL caught to suffer the consequences brought on by those child protection laws? And ultimately, a child who has a bad childhood, can adversely affect the rest of the world. (Not all, but most)

Everyone else who works hard to be a good parent would be more likely pass and get a license!

They would have nothing to worry about except using their time to ensure the safety the children.

HektikLyfe said...

>Iris: I really like your ideas. While parents may be inconvenienced by these rules, I think these inconveniences are far outweighed by the improved lives of the children that would benefit from them.

>Farhan: I am thinking of the children, not the parents. If you need a license to drive to protect other drivers, why not a license to have children to protect the lives of children? Lives which in my opinion are MUCH more valuable then those of cars or adults. Iris' suggestion would teach parents. Unfortunately some of those options are out there already but these adults just aren't taking them. Easy changes are hardly ever worthwhile. You know as well as I do how many bad parents there are out there. Its time for drastic, possibly painful changes. I think only the children have to benefit from regulations like these. Those children are exactly who I have in mind. I'm putting my own freedoms and desires aside for the sake of our future generations.

People DO seem to be satisfied with the way they are raising their kids, but should they be?

>Sarah: Terrifying? Control over our bodies is a bit sensational compared to what I was suggesting. People need to stop seeing the government as a separate entity then the one we have placed in power. We as a group have placed them there and the problems they solve as well. Corporations and individuals alike. You summed it up perfectly. "They are just as stupid as the rest of us." They are an extension of us.

Don't you guys think the government is ALREADY in "control" of our lives if that's what you think this would mean? Take a look in your wallet. How much gold do you carry? You have coins and bills. You have no real money. The government holds everything you think you own. The government provides a majority of the food you eat, the drugs you take, what you read, what you hear and what you see on T.V. We are fooling ourselves if we think they don't really have a hand in everything.

At least this would benefit the lives of the children by reducing or abolishing those baby making welfare machines.

Do your kids go to school? How many hours do they spend there? Do you honestly believe that YOU are raising your kids?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm as paranoid as the next citizen about government control but look around you, open your eyes to what already exists. I will paraphrase your argument Sarah and ask you to see that there are much worse invasions out there. The improved standard of life for the children is what I have in mind.

The world is overpopulating. We need drugs in our food in order to produce it quickly enough to match the speed at which we are consuming it. We are running out of places to throw away all the garbage we create. Our schools are packed with children who aren't receiving individual attention.

The government already has a hand in our children's upbringing. Its called public school. The government would only be there to regulate rules that we have set and agreed to.

When education has failed, in this case parental education, the first few generations will be rough. People will think they are being robbed of their rights.

I personally don't believe that Freedom includes the right to live 100% independent. Even if you live in the forest as a hermit you are using some of the resources provided to you by your government.

You live on land they paid money for (usually.) You live in a forest they paid for the resources to protect. You may have children that the government educates. There are businesses that the government supports and protects that may some day employee those very same children.

Humans haven't shown themselves to be all that great a parenting. These tests and licenses would help to greatly reduce those very bad scenario's you see on the news.

Like Iris said, this process would only serve to weed out the bad seeds, so to speak. Even then the bad seed could be educated then provided a license. The only thing they have to "suffer" through is education.

What harm could that do? To the child?

HektikLyfe said...

Sit through an English class in your local urban public school and share the terror and tears I shed for the future of our citizens now.

Sarah Jane said...

I agree with Farhan and Sarah. But I do think there should be some kind of control out there, like mandatory birth control for people who don't graduate high school, convicts, drug users, prostitutes, anyone who has a record of making poor decisions. But in reality the world is never going to be this perfect place you wish it was. We can't all be raised the exact same way, we can't all be brought up with the same amount of love and affection from our parents, we aren't all going to be just as smart as the next person, we will all have to overcome challenges, whether it be bad parenting or a chronic disease. That's just the way its going to be. All we can do is raise our own kids as well as we can and always try to be better parents, maybe rubbing off a little good influence on those parents you wish wouldn't let their kids roam free at night when they're only 8 years old.

Carlos said...

Dont really know what to say about this. I see myself as not a great parent. I am learning as I go. Sometimes I become a better parent because of my kids, sometimes I react poorly and am probably screwing up my kids somehow. If there were a class, I would pass it. Just like I always pass classes. But do I really learn anything? What difference would a class really make? I am sure I could fool a gov't into giving me a license even if I am not going to change my ways of raising kids. I am not saying I am that bad. But if I can fool the system. Why couldn't everybody else? And therefore, what good would it do?

Sarah said...

Not sensational at all...

As a childbearing woman, the idea of the government telling me how many children I am 'allowed' to have is terrifying. Maybe not to you, but as a woman and a Mother it definitely is to me. What happens if I get pregnant when I am not 'allowed' to? Will they take me against my will and perform an abortion on me? Will they take MY flesh and blood away from me because I don't have a "license"? Will they sterilize me against my will to ensure that I won't have any more children than I am 'allowed'? I will never agree with giving up MY basic human rights...or the basic human rights of my fellow human beings...

And for the record, YES, I am certain I am raising my kids. They are home schooled and not sent to school to be molded by the system. They are smart, strong, INDEPENDENT children who I hope to GOD will make a difference in this fucked up world.

I grow my own vegetables and trade at the market. I don't put much food into my body that I haven't watched grow, whether it be a cow or a tomato plant.

I realize that government has much control over my everyday life. I am not completely retarded. My view is that the less the government is involved, the better, especially when it comes down to my reproductive rights as a human being.

Dawnie said...

While I think its sad and f....ed up that some people have children,,,when I look at how our government has F....d up our country and everything else they touch--they would be no more qualified to tell who is capable to have children. We already have to much government intrusion into our lives.

To me the fact is this--while I dont agree with many people having children--we have free choice--we live in a world of sin, until god chooses to end our world. So that means for all of us--including imbeciles that have no business having children--we all can make our own choices.

I say--perhaps more intrusion needs to come in once the imbeciles have children..when they come crying for money--or neglect those children they chose to have--then we should be able to step in--remove those children and give them homes where they will have their needs provided for.

HektikLyfe said...

>Sarah Jane: I too think they share valid opinions. Invasion of privacy and intrusion into one's life decisions can be jarring. But we have to set aside our own freedoms for the rights and protection of our children. If you take a look around you can see that we're not doing that great of a job. It all starts with education which is what I am trying to push for.

>Carlos: What if they do fool it? My intention is to get the word out there. To let them know that what they are doing is wrong. To show them that what they are doing is abusive. Even if ONE parent out of the millions out there is made aware of their errors and changes, it will be well worth it. Some parents lack basic education in child rearing or even psychology. If you give them options and show them alternatives, whether they fake the exam or not, the knowledge will be there.

>Sarah: The government telling you how many children you are allowed to have for the benefit an safety of the lives of your children would be a good thing for their lives don't you think?

You seem to feel really strongly about losing your rights. I don't see any mention of your concern for the rights of your children. As a woman and a Mother I would imagine that should come first.

I am not suggesting murder in the form of mandatory abortion or sterilization. My suggestion is for mandatory education. Some parents do terrible jobs, do you deny that? Do you deny that it not not always their fault either since they were never taught correctly?

When wild animals are raised in captivity without a parental figure, the results can be disastrous. Sometimes resulting in the creatures killing or even eating their own spawn.

With divorce, abandonment and single parent families the parents don't always know what they are doing is wrong.

All I am saying is that for the sake of the childrens lives, financially and psychologically, having their parents educated could only stand to benefit.

In this suggested scenario we have painted here, you can still reproduce as much as your body allows. A limit isn't enforced with death or incarceration. A limit is enforced much in the same way a speed limit is enforced.

If you feel you have enough finances to support another child above the 2 limit then you can afford to pay higher taxes. Higher taxes to help pay for your fair share of the government funding your children will require.

Whether that be the great hospitals in Canada, public schools in the U.S. or even the access to public roads that you can't tell me you don't use on your farm and local schoolhouse.

Sometimes we have to set aside our personal desire for reproduction and think about the basic human rights of the children which will have to suffer through the lives we provide them.

>Dawnie: We wouldn't put it in the hands of the government to take care of. Like everything that has to do with education it would take a long time to produce something that could be used. We wouldn't just hand it to the president and ask him to solve this for us. It would take parents, psychologists, therapists and teachers collaborating to design something that could be used.

Sometimes for the safety and security of our neighbors children we SHOULD step in. If said imbecile isn't feeding their child, we sure don't hesitate to intrude do we?

Removing children from their homes is very traumatic for them and there isn't a surplus of nice homes for these abused and oft drug addicted kids to be adopted into.

I suggest we do our best to prevent this from happening instead of waiting until after the fact simply because this ignoramus feels the government intrudes on his person right to breed with his sister.

How many people are in jail because they grew up in poverty?
How many people are in jail because they were abused as children?
How many people are addicted to drugs because their parents showed them that it was OK?

If only ONE child is saved from a tragic existence because their parents were simply educated about the significance of a good diet then its all well worth it.

Sarah said...

I do think parents do terrible jobs...but unlike you, I don't think it has anything to do with how much money a family makes. Just because someone has the money to have a child, it does not make them a fit parent...and vise versa.

I almost want to punch the screen at your suggestion that I do not care about the rights of my children. What the fuck do you think this is all about? This IS about my kids. I don't want my daughter to grow up in a world that has some corrupt asshole telling her what she is allowed to do with her uterus. The things I fight for today have EVERY SINGLE THING to do with my kids...fighting for MY rights IS fighting for theirs and for their futures.

I'm outta here man...that was a low blow.

Cristina Kalpa said...

I know this comment is left a bit late, but I just wanted to say, I've been saying that you should be required to have a license to raise children since I was about 15.

Not that their should be a limit on children or anything, but that you should be at least required to take parenting classes in school or something. Some people just should not be allowed to raise children.

HektikLyfe said...

>Sarah: You seem to be digging yourself into a corner of fallacies here. I never said that finances were the ONLY solution. The whole purpose behind it was a test of knowledge and education. It was not an income survey. We would be lying to ourselves if we would say that our kids wouldn't have better opportunities in life if we had larger incomes to support and/or prepare them for the future. A good education costs money. For both the child and the parent. Fighting for your rights to have more of them helps the ones that already exist how exactly? I am talking about providing for the children that live now. The children you have already brought into this "fucked up world." So if you have twenty children, you don't think that would adversely affect your role as a provider?

Sorry to hear you leave Sarah I really enjoyed debating with you. Anything I said I promise was not meant as a personal attack. I quoted your examples to try to get you to understand my argument, not to offend you personally.

>Cristina: I am thinking about the future here. When the economy gets worse, when the population increases to the point where we can no longer support ourselves. There are limits to how many children you can have in some countries. It is a last resort but it works.

Parenting classes should be a prerequisite for sure!

Math, English, Science, Parenting 101. Well, maybe not every year but at least in High School. That's when most stupid kids these days are becoming parents anyway.

Vivienne said...

great blog again, just couldnt' be bothered to read through everyones replies as they are too long. Didn't realize that's the situation in the US, you get the same here in UK. 15year old teenagers having babies (you see them walking with the baby carriages on the street they dont' even have breasts yet!) and living off the taxes that I pay. Isn't that great. Oh and if I dare complain - then I'm told to get out of their country and go back to mine. lovely!