Friday, October 24, 2008

Women, Figured Out

Now before you all start throwing stiletto's and bunny slippers at me, let me explain. First of all I know that not all women walk around naked in stiletto's or are at home pregnant wearing slippers. I was just being facetious.

But I was serious about having women figured out.

I just read a blog by a BlogSpot blogger who goes by the name of MilesPerHour. His post provides a tutorial for men on some tips that could help men be better to their women. This post is called Makin' Love Isn't Just In The Bed and it is a really good read. It inspired me to post this blog about which I previously discussed at length with my wife.

Now just because I believe I have women figured out it doesn't mean I won't ever disagree or fight with women again. That is inevitable, and that's my point.

I understand some women may be getting very angry at this point but I urge you to continue.

For generations men have tried writing books about women. "10 great tips to making your wife happy" or "How to make the girls swoon." They have for the most part, failed miserably.

Why is this? Are women not human too? Why are they so different than us guys?

The reason men have failed, I believe, is because we have been trying to generalize all women into groups like we can for us males. Man is a simple beast, woman is not.

You should NEVER try to dedicate yourself to understanding WOMEN. If you want to make a relationship great, you need to dedicate yourself completely to understanding WOMAN. That means ONE.

You have heard the advice, "listen to her needs." Sure that sounds great but 9 out of 10 times that is complete bullshit. Every woman is different. Some woman might tell you exactly what she wants/needs and another won't. You just have to learn. You just have to learn the hard way.

So you have to "listen" to your woman's needs. That means listen with your eyes, your nose, your memory and every other resource you have available to you. It is all about trial and error. Sometimes she may like something and sometimes she may not. Only through life can you learn the minor and/or major clues that will teach you when it is right or wrong.

Relationships are a challenge. They are a lifelong challenge. One of which you can never truly come out a "victor." It is this lifelong challenge however that is more rewarding than any other.

Dedicate yourself to them and they will dedicate themselves to you. If you have a special situation where the woman is using you then you have other challenges you must overcome to get here. Even if it means finding another woman who isn't broken.

...Oh and about men? Read and follow the advice in Dr. Laura's The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. That's it. Yes, we're that freakin' simple.


Dawnie said...

I dont know HOW my baldyman could ever figure me out because just when I think I have figured myself out--something changes and I change with it. I dont like the complication of myself at times.

Carrie Amie said...

I don't know if you can generalize what you have said to being only about women... as I see it everything you have said can apply just the same to men. No one is the same, everyones changing and self help books will always be written because people will always buy them...

Good luck with this, hopefully you don't get too many angry posts.

HektikLyfe said...

>Dawnie: It makes life interesting. If men are preoccupied with the challenge at home, they don't look elsewhere to satisfy another as long as it is fun.

>Carrie: It CAN but it rarely does. Men, in general, are MUCH simpler. They may give the impression that they are complex emotional creatures, but deep down, we all love a home cooked steak. (I'm not saying women are meat, I really mean steak.)

I didn't get many posts at all this time around. People tend to like the little blurbs better. They can read and respond much quicker but I would hate to turn this blog into a complete Meme.

Anonymous said...

I actually only re-took the math today. I scored the highest possible english for freshman on the english test. That was easy. Just reading passages and answering questions, and then writing an essay. I got into the class I need to be in to transfer right away. Math is a whole nother story for me.

Dawnie said...

yeah well I feel like how you stated...BUT..I can tell my husband gets annoyed or dosnt seem like he sees it as a challenge at all. I wish he would.

HektikLyfe said...

>Dawnie: As with other challenges in life, sometimes you do get annoyed and frustrated. Just because we as men are aware that perhaps our wives aren't really as angry as they seem, doesn't mean that we are not going to react accordingly.

Men tend to release with guttural grunts and outbursts but we are generally quick to forgive and move on. A typical and perhaps too vocal, "Here we go again" is our form of release which unfortunately gets us in a lot of trouble.

My wife and I still argue. Its part of being in a relationship. If we agreed on everything it would be a very boring existence indeed.

Something I really like to do is to go back to the subjects you argued about, a good, safe time later, and review them in good humor. Take a good look at how silly we were both being. It helps us not sink into that same hole again and fortifies our sense of strength and accomplishment because of what we have overcome and managed to make it work.

Leah Friesen said...

I read the post by MilesPerHour and had a good laugh. Not every woman out there wants a man like the one he described.

Being sensitive to your wife/girlfriends needs yes but he sounds smothering. I don't need anyone else to wash my hair!

Maybe his girlfriend craves this type of attention but in my opinion he gets to grow a pair.

HektikLyfe said...

>Leah: OH OUCH! XD The way I read it was a guy who was previously self-absorbed but has recently turned a new leaf in order to try to give attention to his "lover." I took it as a good step since he seems to have written that blog for other previously selfish guys. A peer to peer sort of thing.

Yeah I think if I ever tried to wash my wife's hair I would ruin it. I would NOT want to do that I LOVE her hair!

Stella said...

Very smart. You just keep spreading this advice to other men, and us women folk won't take you hostage and beat you over the head with our stilettos and bunny slippers.