Thursday, October 9, 2008

Toilet Rant

Our lab is in the same building as the warehouse employees'. As such our restrooms get the same "preferential" treatment, and heavy use, that normal warehouse employees get.

There is one restroom, per gender, that we all share in the entire building so it can get crowded after lunch. This is when the cleaning crew decides they are going to close off the restroom whenever they do finally decide to clean up the clogged toilets that at times have remained broken, hot and unused long enough for some carefree individual to print and post a Radioactive Waste sign on the stall. (Run-on breath taken here.)

I don't know if I mentioned before that the water in those restrooms has two settings. Hot and scolding. Not impossible to deal with if you are simply washing your hands but... sometimes you have no choice but to use the toilet. Just like the faucets, these toilets are motion sensitive. That means when they detect movement, they flush.

These toilets are industrial, as they should be. They have power. So when they flush, they flush hard. When they flush hard, they splash. Anyone who has ever dealt with the frustration of a non-functional motion detector will agree that this technology is far from perfected.

Not-so hypothetical scenario. You are sitting doing your business as quickly as possible, because these bathrooms have no doors. The stalls do have doors, but not the bathrooms. You hear a noise, you often do since again, these restrooms HAVE NO FREAKIN' DOORS! You lean to peak out through the giant crack in the incorrectly installed stall walls that you impotently balance the extra open rolls of toilet paper in front of so people can't play ICUPUPU and the toilet decides to flush.

This then becomes a race to clean up and get up before your sensitive buttocks, or God forbid family jewels, get viciously scolded by the sun scorched hot water.

This has the potential for hilarity sure, when it doesn't happen to you.


ChrisseasCorner said...

Thanks for stopping by... no my blog is not just family, they are just a big part of my life so I write about them often.... No intrusion, trust me.

Anyway, This post is hilarious - ICUPUPU. Talk about automatic flushers. You must check this toilet story I posted about a few years ago... read them in order! (come back to the new blog, if your gonna comment)

Pt 1


HektikLyfe said...

That is what I call a cliffhanger! Wow! Great story. I am sorry to find humor in your misery but something about the mysterious world of toilets really gets the giggles going.