Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Of Women and Shoes

It is a common belief and joke that women are obsessed with shoes. While I've never really placed much faith in popular perception, I have noticed a few things about girls and shoes.

I have seen the shoes that some girls like. Shoes that are not too extravagant but still original and even a little flashy. They usually fall within short range of comfort and style but usually lean more towards style than comfort.

From a guys perspective I just wanted to share what I see. I hope this will give women an interesting (albeit slightly) new understanding of men and how some of them see women's shoes.

First of all, no, I don't have a toe or shoe fetish. I just thought I would make that clear. So you can understand why I see things the way I do I can summarize what my clothes means to me personally in a couple of percentages.

Comfort 90%
Style 10%

What does that mean? Well, when I buy clothes for myself, I make sure it is ultra-comfortable first, THEN I decide whether its too ugly to wear. Clean clothes goes without saying of course.

With that in mind you could understand my confusion when it comes to women and clothes. I've seen the stuff you girls wear. That shit isn't comfortable at all! High heels? Tight clothes that you can't even move around freely with?

Lets stay focused on the shoes for now. Many times I've heard girls say "Oh wow those shoes are cute!" or "Look at those shoes they are so pretty!" The typical man in me looks at both, red strappy shoes and thinks the following things;

That's the same shit.
One pair has one more strap than the other.
Why does this pair cost more when it has less material than the first?
This pair of shoes isn't going to make you look any prettier.
Can you run faster in these shoes or something?

Or I could get really bad and think things like;

Are those special high heels designed to help you reach things in the top kitchen cabinet?

Which gets me to thinking. If not utility, then what purpose do they serve?

Women's shoes are so different and drastic in their design for a reason. The shoe "designers" want you to buy as many different pairs as possible. They greatly reduce the range of use to make sure that you are limited with their potential outfit combinations.

So do women really choose their shoes based on their level of attractiveness?

If I were to create a woman from head to toe, her shoes wouldn't be top priority. I wouldn't be thinking, "You know what would complete this package? A pair of strappy red high heels to complete that look of back aching discomfort."

I would put her in some comfortable tennis shoes.

Sure I can admire elegance. I can admire it. From a distance. I can see how it looks "pretty" I guess. I wouldn't though, consider it especially attractive. I wouldn't compare two identical women and think that one would "win" because they had pumps.

Thats not to say I can't see the benefits of a dress. I think sun dresses are great and I personally believe my wife looks her best when she's wearing them.

After a bit of introspection I have come to the conclusion that I am most attracted to women who dress with the same scruples as I do. That doesn't mean I find a girl in baggy jeans and a Gorrillaz shirt sexy. I do think, however, that it is my female dress equivalent/counterpart that I search for when I think of "pretty."

Is that weird? Is that the case for everyone? What does it say about me? Does it say anything at all or am I reading to much into it?


Douglas said...

I do not have a shoe fetish. I will defer on the toe fetish since I have seen some really cute toes. But I digress. High heels are terrible things and hurt women's feet. On the plus side, though, they have an intriguing effect on the shape and firmness of a woman's posterior (and similar positive effect on her legs). In other words, they serve a purpose for the male of the species. So long as a woman does not fall into the Imelda Marcos syndrome, shoe fascination is fine with me.

The Diva on a Diet said...

I have one word for you, Hektik, Amen! I am a woman who's the odd man out because I hate shoes. Hate buying them, hate wearing them. I refuse to mash my feet into ridiculously uncomfortable contortions all for the sake of fashion. Am I unfashionable? I don't give a shit! I like sneakers, flats and low-heeled sandals. Period. And really, I'd rather be barefoot or in my slippers. ;)

Its nice to know there's one man out there who understands. Thanks!

Iris said...

I want a pair of chucks! Lately I've been into flip flops. Any way what it says about you is that you are pretty laid back about life in general. You don't look for more than the basics. I mean compared to people who aim for daily luxuries. You're more into being home and just chilling,

Iris said...

Oh and lol @ the banner

HektikLyfe said...

>Douglas: Those little tennis flats and a little exercise does the same thing to the female form but I do see your point. Still, it makes them look really uncomfortable. I always laugh when they show strippers in movies wearing high heels. Like really...

>Diva: Yeah! I wish I had the resources to develop a unisex business sneaker.

>Iris: I think you are totally right. I am a homebody. So dressing down to me, shows comfort and casual. Some people though, those that wear suits on weekends for example, perhaps wouldn't see things the same way. About the banner, I'm glad you noticed. I was hoping someone would enjoy that.

Sarah Jane said...

What you said about shoe designers making shoes that fill a small niche, causing us to have to buy several pairs to match different outfits: SO TRUE but I never saw it in writing before. Thanks for pointing that out.
Confession: I really love shoes. I like them better than clothes. I don't own many now but when I was single I had about 25 pairs. I mostly wore tennis shoes or thongs and the rest were for dancing and parties. Nowadays when I admire shoes, they're usually comfy and cute rather than "sexy". But I still wish I could wear the sexy ones without being in pain after 2 hours.

Andrea.Sombody said...

Whew. Ouch!

I really love shoes but everything you said is too true!

Most of the time, I'm uncomfortable but I think the trick is to not show it. lol. But i endure only because I think I look way cute.

I also know that my boyfriend loves to see me in a pair of heels and a short skirt. I've only indulged him once, in private. hehe.

Anyway, I know that shoes, especially heels, are seemingly pointless but there's just something inside me that makes me want them anyway.

Anonymous said...

Totally with you on the comfort thing. It's VERY importan. You can't run to the bus in a pair of heels.
I used to be a total baggy jeans and trainers girl until someone said I should make more of myself and that stuck for some reason.
I'm not saying I'm one of those girls taht puts make up on in the bus but I do get up about 10 minutes earlier to put mascara and heels on - comfy? NO.

And yes you can fire away any questions you like amigo.

As for the full bellies - there's a thing about that huh? I once dated a guy who would only eat half the portion on his plate. He was very health and food and excercise consious. First date we went out for dinner I finished my plate he didn't. I knew it wouldn't work out after that!

HektikLyfe said...

>Sarah: Can I get rich off the idea behind the "Sexy Sneaker?"

>Andrea: Think of it this way, many guys think tennis girls are "way cute." Anna Kournikova or whatever and the Serena twins... You can be relaxed and still look "hot."

>Vivienne: I'm not a big eater really but neither is my wife so it works out well. We often share a plate at restaurants. :)

I will e-mail you the questionnaire.

jewlover2 said...

Do I like to be comfortable? Yes. When I am planning to do alot of walking, I usually rely on my Van Giselles (cute skully print but still a sneaker) or some walking sandals that are still flattering. However, if I'm dressing up, and sometimes I refer to dressing up as wearing cuffed jeans w/ a tailored top, you better believe I go for the heels. I love them with a passion.

I think a woman's leg looks better when she's wearing a heel, especially if there is a pencil skirt involved. And if I'm in a sundress, I still wear sandals-but with heels.

Yeah, Ive heard the doctor reports about high heels and what they do to a woman's feet. I can't say the ball of my foot is going to be modeling for dr. scholls any time soon. But to heck w/ that! I wear my platform, rounded or open toed, 4 inchers to my heart's delight.

As for comfort, some of the pricier brands are actually surpisingly comfortable. And the cheaper brands can be 'comfortized' with a few of those little gel inserts. And if all that fails: If, for instance, I'm in Vegas dollin' it up for the 'weekender', well, a gal going barefoot-dangling her shoes by the straps as she strolls her calloused feet along on hot pavement , that's dang sexy too. ;)

Sarah Jane said...

I don't know if you'd get "rich", hehe, but you could start sprinkling that idea around the worlbwibeweb and see what happens.
I think you have to have nice ankles to look sexy in sneakers. Nice other-stuff, too, but ankles first.

Anonymous said...

this post inspired me - today I am wearing baggy jeans (kinda getting tight round the bum now though...gotta get to teh gym) and trainers. I have missed my trainers! I even got to work 10 minutes early!

Marcy said...

Oh - I had posted a comment on this earlier but it isn't showing up... I have an opinion on this subject (shocker).

I used to own lots of cute shoes. Some I spent good money on. Others I bought cheap. But I had a great collection. Then, I got pregnant and after having two kids, my feet grew and I couldn't wear my shoes any longer. Big bummer.

So, instead of going out and replacing all my shoes and spending money we didn't have (I just didn't want to hear Joe say, "What the hell, Marcy, we have rent to pay.") I opted to shop for shoes based on quality (first), comfort (second), and style (Yikes! third). I officially became a Mom in sensible shoes at that point. Not a single chick wearing uncomfortable heels.

Now bags are a totally different story...

Nana Net said...

Shoe Fetish----HELL NO, NOT ME!!!!!
I am what you would call a down to earth woman. I love to go barefoot and just love mother nature period!
And no not the barefoot & pregnant kind either! LOL
My hubby says he got lucky when he met me. Why? Cause I am not a materialistic type person. I just am one who does not require "High Maintence!" Nope, a pair of sweats, or jeans and a big old t-shirt is fine with me! Thoguh I will admit I do know when to dress up if I have too. :-)

Anonymous said...

I've been spammed? Isn't that something bad?

And yes, you are more than welcome to repost my answers.

Yeah I know, I don't htink anyone would take me seriously as Amparo!

Ah yes very much very controversial. Although she also mentions that you have to enter the blog with an open mind as some of her readers have gotten offended. Not quite sure why as I think you're very polite and objective so not sure why people would be peed off.

I will remove the pole when I have children. But that's the good thing, there's removable poles as well tht work on pressure between ceilings and floors so you can adjust and take them off again.

You've said the lump thing - moderation is key. And today it's gym time for me!

Anonymous said...

ummmm, i can't seem to post here anymore????

Anonymous said...

ahhhhh, cancel that, i'm an idiot! i don't want to repost my shoe comment in case it went through the three times i've tried to post it. sorry.

eizzy.k said...

some of those shoes are really un-wearable!
but i guess the whole point is so we look cute and/or sexy for u guys!
not everyone is this cool, i guess the majority of guys like to see women in these kind of shoes despite how uncomfortable!

I personally cant even walk properly in heels so i avoid them as much as possible!

But i do own a pair or two of them. Just 4 those special or formal occasions i have to wear a dress or skirt with. most of which i remain seated the majority of the time!!

Anonymous said...

I can tell you right now, my husband will love reading your blog. I wear shoes for comfort, every once in a while I go the stretch and wear a pair of heels because I think they make my dresses (I love 50's style sundresses) look better. But for the most part 99% of my shoes are flats and comfy for me.

Melissa Goodman said...

I have a secret for you. We're not wearing the uncomfortable , high-high, super-cute heels for you guys.

HektikLyfe said...

>Jewlover2: So the shoes look best when you're not wearing them? "a gal going barefoot-dangling her shoes by the straps." I guess there are guys out there that prefer heels. I personally don't get it.

>Sarah: Yeah, cankles don't look good in any shoe so I see what you're saying.

>Vivienne: Nothing wrong with jeans tight around the bum eh? As long as they don't look uncomfortable (low-rise) I approve.

>Marcy: Bags huh...I'm already working on a blog... ;)

>Nana: I'm wearing Jeans and a T-Shirt right now! XD

>Vivienne: Well, that depends. Some might consider being spammed a sign of success. Some readers WERE offended. They send her mean messages complaining. XD

>Better Safe: Sorry about that. I don't know what happened.

>Eizzy.k: This is what I figured and why I wanted to get the word out there. You girls don't have to suffer that much anymore. Don't torture yourselves. I don't know about a "majority" though which is what inspired this blog. I have spoken to many other guys that feel the same. I think it may be a generational thing. I have dress shoes, I hate them. They don't compare to your girl heels though ugh!

>SoInLoveNyva18: Send him on over! I would love to have another reader. :)

>Melissa: Guys or girls, whatever you are into.

Right at the beginning of the blog there is this paragraph;

"From a guys perspective I just wanted to share what I see. I hope this will give women an interesting (albeit slightly) new understanding of men and how some of them see women's shoes."

So if you were trying to be witty and catch me being chauvinistic by assuming that I think everything girls/females do is for us men, you are gravely mistaken. I question the "beauty" of those uncomfortable shoes you yourself have admitted to being uncomfortable. As many of my readers have attested to, it seems to be this way.

Many (if not a majority) of women wear articles of clothing because they believe the opposite sex (or same) will find it attractive. I'm not saying guys aren't like this but that is another blog for another day.

This blog was about Women, Shoes and how I see them. I am not speaking for all men, and I don't think you should speak for all women when within the same blog by other posters, you are proven wrong.

Welcome to the Podium. :) I hope you return.