Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Deleting YOU

I have an address book. I have many actually. Until recently they were spread out across many different mediums. My PDA, a spreadsheet, my e-mail client at work, a web e-mail client and address book for each e-mail address I had and one on my cell phone.

Until recently (thanks iPhone & Blackberry) I consolidated.

This is just the way I work. I don't forward text messages or e-mails that I don't first edit, change or at the very least reformat for the viewers ease. With these relatively good habits I have one that people seem to dislike. I tend to delete people.

When I do this, there is no animosity or malintent. (I seriously thought that was a word!) I use MySpace (or used to use) for MySpace reasons. I would post blogs and comment on others. I would upload pictures and comment on others. I would create and moderate groups. Basically, I would participate heavily.

Many people would add me, then never say a word. This would annoy me to no end. The whole point of MySpace, Facebook, Friendster and other social networks like those was to communicate with each other. A majority of people though, would only use it for their own entertainment. They would snoop around your stuff, add you to see your pictures and never acknowledge your existence or even respond to your direct questions.

I wouldn't get mad. I would simply delete them. Why invite someone to the poker table if they aren't going to play? Imagine a 4 person bridge game with one of the players not participating and instead just staring at you, crunching on ice and wiping orange Doritos on your tablecloth.

So here on blogger the day has come for me to do the same. This is not a threat and there aren't any hard feelings. If I write things that don't interest you, no problem! I'm not hurt or offended in any way. I don't want you to be stuck or feel obligated to continue following me. I know we are all busy adults and when pressed for time, there truly is only a small circle we can truly dedicate ourselves to.

This habit is what has traditionally helped me maintain a sense of community in whatever group or blog I create. Some of you who have followed me for years know exactly what I am talking about.

I will never privatize this blog, but I do intend to keep my fellowship slim so I can give attention to those more active participants. I'm more of a conversationalist looking for a fireside chat than I am a public speaker at a conference never taking questions. (A fireside chat with the occasional verbal fist fight. ;) )

So if the day comes and you find yourself not being followed by me, please don't be hurt or angry. It just means I've noticed that you have been busy and I thought it would be best for the both of us to start reading other people.

We'll always have Salem.



Anonymous said...

(A fireside chat with the occasional verbal fist fight. ;) )

It's all fun and games until someone pulls out the burning log and starts swinging it around! ;)

It's funny how some people will get a major case of butthurt if you delete them. What good does it do anyone to have 50 bajillion friends/followers listed if only 10 are participating???

Dawnie said...

good points. for me, i enjoy all kinds of various things...from home decor, to marriage and family to the occasional high spirited debate.

I dont want to limit myself in the world of blogging. I'm actually finding that a huge challenge though. I've noticed many women seem to "clique" with any women who are only into the home decor and wont venture out of that realm.

Like i said-I like it all and I hope to keep it that way.

NOW...what we gonna chat about next?

what the heck is GM thinking ==asking for all that money to stay in business...Again I ask you...when do WE get to ask for whatever we need just to stay "afloat",

Iris said...

LOL @ Rebecca Rodgers' analogy... Funny image to picture XD

Anyway, I see your point. I want to do the same too, but people always come back, ask why I did it, tell me they will change and then not participate again.

HektikLyfe said...

>Rebecca: Nothing is worse than a face full of flaming log. Well perhaps a steaming one would be pretty terrible as well. I think the problem arose when the label of "friends" was given. People automatically assumed that if you removed them from your list, you didn't want to be "friends" anymore. Stupid humans.

>Dawnie: Bail-outs! I actually have something in the works for just that topic! :) Stay tuned! (With the DTV transition just around the corner will the term "tuned" ever be used again? I guess radio...but who still listens to that?)

>Iris: I just don't accept people after I delete them. I don't have many friends. I don't know why. XD

The Diva on a Diet said...

Hey ... I listen to radio! It sucks, but I still listen - guess I'm old fashioned that way. ;)

Its cool to lay some truths out there like this, Hektik. What boggles my mind is seeing the number of people that hit my site each day ... yet never leave a comment. Its not like its a huge number or anything, like 20 to 40 hits a day depending, but I feel like I'm blogging for mutes! Everyone is reading and no one says a word.

So, let me take this opportunity to thank *you* - and I mean that!


Iris said...

I guess I give people too many chances :P

Captcha: rests

HektikLyfe said...

>Diva: I'm just exxagerating a little. I have the radio on right now at work. Reception is terrible though. :( You could also get a unique visitors counter to set your mind at ease a little. I know I go back to check for responses on my comments so I visit your site at least 4 times more than I comment. Perhaps others do the same?

>Iris: Hey, there's something to be said about kindness. I just don't know what but people say it!

Anonymous said...

that main picture you used for the title - looks a bit like Jocelyn Wildenstein no?

Anonymous said...

HL, I always revisit sites where I have posted, or simply to see further comments on an interesting post, so I too may visit a blog more than once a day.


The Diva on a Diet said...

I generally revisit blogs too because I'm interested in reading additional comments. I do have a unique visitor counter ... 38 yesterday and like 2 comments. Argh! Its a bit frustrating.

HektikLyfe said...

>Vivienne! XD Oh man I thought you knew the person that had that work done but I did a quick search on her. WOW you are so right. Poor lady. What the hell man, whoever did her face needs to be hung.

>Argentum & Diva: It's a good habit. I don't know how many IP's could be attributed to me. Here's a short list.

1. iPhone 3G.
2. iPhone EDGE.
3. iPhone Wi-Fi at home.
4. PC at work.
5. PC at home.
6. Laptop at home.
7. Living room PC at home.
8. Laptop at work.
9. PDA at work.
10. PDA at home.
11. Blackberry at work.
12. Blackberry at home.
13. Blackberry 3G.
14. Blackberry on EDGE.
15. iPhone Wi-Fi at work.

...and yes, I DO use them all. They each get independent IP addresses depending on the connection I'm using. I wonder how many other people have multiple devices like me.

Sarah Jane said...

I think you're being too kind by actually blogging an apology/explanation for not following some blogs anymore. Me? I just click unsubscribe without warning. Muahahhaha!