My brother sent me a joke this morning and I thought it was worth sharing with some minor modifications. I hope you all have a great day!
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph."
Ralph stunned, replied: "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back! PLEASE YOUR HOLINESS."
St. Peter said, "I'm terribly sorry but there's only one way you can go backeth and that is as a chicken."
Ralph was devastated, but begged St.. Peter to send him anyway, at least to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past and Ralph immediately tensed. "So, you're the new hen, huh?" he asked. "How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Ralph the hen nervously, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"
"You must be ovulating," explained the big red Cock. "Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
"Never," said Ralph.
"Well, just relax and let it happen," says the randy rooster. "It's no big deal." Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
"!!RALPH!! YOU DUMBASS, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SHITTING IN THE BED!?!"