Thursday, December 11, 2008

Enjoy this Cackle on Me



My brother sent me a joke this morning and I thought it was worth sharing with some minor modifications. I hope you all have a great day!

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph."

Ralph stunned, replied: "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back! PLEASE YOUR HOLINESS."

St. Peter said, "I'm terribly sorry but there's only one way you can go backeth and that is as a chicken."

Ralph was devastated, but begged St.. Peter to send him anyway, at least to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past and Ralph immediately tensed. "So, you're the new hen, huh?" he asked. "How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Ralph the hen nervously, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"

"You must be ovulating," explained the big red Cock. "Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"

"Never," said Ralph.

"Well, just relax and let it happen," says the randy rooster. "It's no big deal." Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....

"!!RALPH!! YOU DUMBASS, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SHITTING IN THE BED!?!"

11 comments:

Iris said...

Good one!

Dawnie said...

OH man I was NOT expecting that! WOW could you imagine.

ryan said...

a couple of times i've dreamed i'm in the great outdoors and i decide to pee on a tree... i'm always surprised to wake up and discover i didn't actually pee in my bed.

dreams are weird things.

~twerge

Rebecca Rodgers said...

hysterical!

eizzy.k said...

LMAO!
ewwww!! Buh Funny!

Andrea.Sombody said...

So gross!!

And yet, I couldn't help but giggle c:

Vivienne said...

very funny! :)

Argentum Vulgaris said...

That was a surprise ending... ewwww

AV
http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com/
http://tomusarcanum.blogspot.com/

Marcy said...

I always love a good joke. Thanks for the laugh....

Monique said...

I enjoyed the joke, but have a much more pressing thing to discuss...

Um, what's w/ the Spammer McAsshole thing you have over there???

Do tell...

HektikLyfe said...

>Iris: It was pretty gross, but it made me chuckle.

>Dawnie: Me neither. I thought it was going to be one of those bitter after-life jokes.

>Ryan: As a kid I would catch myself just before too! There would be people in my dream telling me it was OK and they would even point me to the restroom. Evil, evil brain.

>Rebecca: Grossterical?

>Eizzy: I could so see drunks pooping in their own beds, can't you?

>Andrea: Same here. I could only imagine the angry spouse.

>Vivienne: I thought so too. If I hear another good one I will pass it along.

>Argentum: That's what she said!

>Marcy: You're welcome. I love great jokes too. I should dig some of the old ones up. People seemed to have enjoyed this post.

>Monique: Oh yes... Spammer, for more info regarding him and his adventures, check out this blog I wrote specifically about him.