The Carpet Matches The Drapes!

So I'm searching for pictures of Jesus and Star Wars for my previous blurb like the ones like this.





...and I found this picture of Carrot Top. You know you don't want to look, but you also know you have to. ARRRRGGHHHH!@#$#!

Blurb - Jesus, Star Wars and Clergy Sex Abuse?

Gotta love those Google Ads! Not only do they pay me but they bring me entertainment. Since I cover a broad range of topics, the ad subject matter never fails to entertain.

The funniest ones are when they combine different topics. Yesterday it had Jesus and Star Wars. I wonder what would happen if I allow picture ads?


Who drew this????

Working Well With Others

I have never really been a social person. I have to work with many, many people. There are times when I am seen as "the enemy." I take things away from them. I deal with them and they deal with me.

When they break the rules, sometimes I have to take actions that they would perceive as an intrusion of privacy. Such is life. I deal with it and they deal with it.

I can handle myself well enough. I have never backed down even when it is an executive who is technically above me in rank. I'm not playing that off as a strength, I'm just saying that I do my duty. I deal with it, but it is stressful.

The way I burn off this stress is with silence and solitude. I don't explode in anger or go out drinking. Instead I step into my workspace, where it is quiet, fresh and relaxing.

One of my coworkers was recently fired and another was brought in to replace them. A kind, but loud replacement. This particular individual means well enough and works hard enough but their form of release clashes with mine.


I come in trying to achieve a near meditative state and they come in yelling up a storm with a total disregard to other employees nearby.

We had a loud employee warn us about this new replacement before they began which concerned me right from the start. Was I exposed to a negative preconception? Perhaps, but there is no denying that this individual has the power to ruin my day.

The disadvantages of close proximity employment are blindingly evident and my desire for a job that allows for telecommuting grows daily.

What would you guys do in my situation? I wouldn't want to bring Human Resources into it because it would just create animosity. I am looking for an internal solution. Someway I could train myself to deal with it. Any ideas? Experience a similar situation and find your way out?



Let me know.

Deals: 8-29-08

(Disclaimer: I don't earn ANY revenue from ANY of the products you purchase below. I frequently have people ask me questions like, "Where should I buy...?" and "What should I get?" so I post them on my blogs to answer their most frequently asked questions. BUT I do earn a tiny little percentage from the ads you click on and if you buy any of the books from the shelf on my Shelfari on the sidebar! ;) )

Need a cheap MP3 player for your kid? Or a 2nd one for the gym that you won't be afraid of losing or damaging?

WOOT has a pretty good REFURBISHED one for $25!
The Sansa MP3 players rate pretty well. Its tiny and it has a screen for you to see what songs are playing. If I actually went to the gym, I might consider this instead of taking my over-priced, under-featured Apple iPods.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• 2GB of storage space
  
• FM Tuner with 40 Presets
• Voice recording with built-in microphone
• Supports MP3, WMA, Secure WMA, WAV, and Audible file playback
• Drag and drop file transfer
• Equalizer modes: Rock, Pop, Jazz, Classical, and Custom.
• Dimensions: 2.17” x 1.35” x .65”
• Weight: .92oz

System Requirements:

• Windows XP SP2 or Vista Operating System
• Windows Media Player 10 or 11

In the box:

• Sandisk Sansa Clip 2GB MP3 Player
• USB Cable
• Headphones

Woot deals only last for a few hours so don't hesitate!

Fry's Electronics

Black Onyx DS Lite Pokémon Bundle
DS Lite with Dialga and Palkia
Pokémon Myster Dungeon: Explorers of Time and Darkness
Animated DVD
Dialga and Palkia Carrying Case and Poster. $130

XBox 360
Dead Rising $18
Blue Dragon $18
Tales of Vesperia $55
Too Human $55

Playstation 3
Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice $43

Wii
Resident Evil 4 $18
Mario Super Sluggers $43

PSP
Midway Arcade Treasures: Extended Play $10

Nintendo DS
The Sims 2 $25
Digimon World Championship $25

For those of you with HD-DVD's!!!
Transformers $8
Beowulf $8
The Mummy $8
Flags of our Fathers $8
Troy $8
Children of Men $8

Blu-Ray
Independence Day $15
The Day After Tomorrow $15
The Longest Day $15
A Bridge Too Far $15
The Devil Wears Prada $15
Cast Away $15
Behind Enemy Lines $15
...and a lot more but I only listed what I think most people would like.

Crunch 1100 Watt 2 Channel Amp $80

GameStop
Playstation 3
Haze $35

GoGamer.com

PC
Star Wars: Republic Commando $6
Star Wars: Battlefront $6
Star Wars: Battlefront II $6
Alone in the Dark $15
Guild Wars: Platinum: $25
Guild Wars: Factions Platinum $25
Thrillville: Off the Rails $6
Space Siege $48
Sims 2: Apartment Life $30

XBox 360
Too Human $54

GameFly Used Deals

XBox 360
GTA IV $35
Army of Two $27
Burnout Paradise $20
Rainbow Six Vegas 2 $35
Bioshock $25
Devil May Cry 4 $20
Need for Speed: Pro Street $20
Condemned 2: Bloodshot $17
The Club $15
Assassin's Creed $18

Playstation 3
GTA IV $35
Rainbow Six: Vegas $23
Burnout Paradis $25
Unreal Tournament III $18
Army of Two $28
Haze $20
Lost Planet: Extreme Condition $17

Wii
Super Smash Bros.: Brawl $35
Metroid Prime: Corruption $28
Super Mario Galaxy $37

Nintendo DS
Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword $25
Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings $28
Advance Wars: Days of Ruin $24

PSP
God of War: Chains of Olympus $30
Pursuit Force: Extreme Justice $22

I sure wish I had some extra cash!

You will take this poll, and you'll like it.

I included a poll in the sidebar. A poster, loyal reader and good friend, inspired it.

Why am I asking this question? Well I'm not completely sure I like it myself. I mean is can be pretty, but in "practice" it doesn't come in handy, so to speak. It just (dramatic pause) gets in the way.

Pro's

Exciting.
Makes for great pictures.
Exciting to shop for.

Con's

You can ruin it.
It gets in the way.
If you don't look good in lingerie, you look REALLY BAD in lingerie.

Is it the time-period that makes the difference? Or is the the individual? Has the era of the late 30's hair spray and stilettos been replaced with early 30's scrunchy and sneakers?

On the right person (one's spouse of course) I think pajamas can be just as exciting, or more so then tangle-y, rough lace.

What do y'all think? Support your vote with some justification.

Update: This poll ran from 8-27-08 to 9-3-08. Here are the final results.

How To: Cheat on your Significant Other

After thousands of years of the evolution of civilization, you would think that a simple thing like fidelity would be easy to manage. After all, we tamed wild dogs didn't we? We've been to space, we can even communicate with people around the world almost instantaneously!

Why do we still cheat?

You will forgive me if I get a little sexist. Not to put either gender down but just from personal experience, the following opinions have been formed.

Men get bored. Some more quickly than others. They get tired of looking at the same thing, talking to the same person and dealing with the same problems.

Women get angry. Some more viciously than others. They get frustrated with their husband/boyfriend's inability to change or downward spiral of negative changes.

Neither willing to budge, they couple goes their separate ways but down deep, their love still holds a bond. That or they are stuck with kids and a mortgage. So what can a couple do?

CHEAT. Let me tell you exactly how. It requires effort, devotion and a lot of trust.

Step 1
Men - Clean up. Dress nice like you used to in order to get the attention of the girls. Wash the car and make sure you smell really good.
Women - Makeover! Don't dress to what you think guys like. Dress however YOU feel better. It is of EXTREME importance that you feel beautiful. Dress for YOURSELF!

Step 2
Men - Think about what excites you now. What were those first dates like that you remember the best? Play out a perfect cheat scenario in your head. Yes, even if it involves Pizza delivery. Everything is fair game.
Women - Ditto.

Step 3
Both - Tell your significant other your "Step 2."

That's right. Role play.

People make fun of it and it would feel silly at first but it is the next best thing and pretty damn safe in comparison. Guys, you won't end up by the side of a desert road looking for the rest of your severed penis. Girls, you won't have to worry about those pictures surfacing on the internet or passing the syphilis you caught from Captain Mandingo to your child while breastfeeding.

I'm sorry if this wasn't the solution you were looking forward to, but in this age of divorce and palimony, I think it couldn't hurt to try an alternative solution.

Concerns?

Afraid you'll get caught by friends? Go out of town or do it in the comfort of your own home.

Men - Afraid she won't be game? You'd be surprised what your significant other would be up for if she knows what she is getting in return. Bring it up. Too risque? Compromise and use some tact. In other words, don't ask her if you can call her by her cousins name.

Women - Still not feeling pretty? Hire a talented photographer to make you look good to help your self esteem. Or get a good camera and have fun with your significant other.

My point is, there are MANY alternatives to actual cheating that bring just as much excitement. Do some research, talk things out and try alternatives before you throw everything away for a one night stand.

Pick Your Fight

Every once in a while I like to go back into the archives to see what sort of topics are more likely to get a response. On MySpace, the people respond most to my blogs about dreams. Here on Blogger people have responded a LOT more to my September 11th blogs.

I have no idea what that says about each group, I just find it interesting that there IS a notable difference. I have PLENTY more topics to discuss but I thought I would toss it out there to the people who read the blog.

Is there any topic genre you would prefer I cover? Anything you think I should stay away from?

Shave that Goat-Tree!

No, that's not a typo.

Apparently Morocco is home to some goats that have learned to climb trees in order to get to what is left of the food in that empty desert.


If you were worried about bird crap landing on your car before!!! Don't park under this tree!


If you are riding in a convertible, I would be wary. You don't want to have to explain to oglers why you are wearing the strangest of hats.



Story

This Girl Is Amazing!

No, not her Shannon Doherty off-center eyes.


This girl is amazing because she does not exist. She was created using a new technology developed by Image Metrics. This is cool. No more overpaid drug addict life wasting actors to support and stop traffic.

I feel sorry for girls though. If you thought the bar was unfairly high before... Hopefully next time they will try to make a pretty one.

War On Teh Fatz!

Yet another excuse for being fat was provided by ABC News. They call it, "SRED." Sleep related sleeping disorder. Sleep eating in other words. Now I don't deny that this freak accident of a bad habit exists. What I am disappointed by is the solution...

"Now she can get a good night's rest -- if she keeps taking the medicine."

"It's something that I am not going to be cured from," this girl said.


Way to fight back!

"Finally, after months of trial and error with a variety of medications, there is hope for Anna Ryan. She and Eveloff have found a combination of drugs that allows her to sleep through the night, and the pounds are coming off."

Drugs are your only solution ladies and gentlemen! Pharmaceutical brainwashing strikes again!

Story

Exploiting September 11th

EDIT: Pictures are back up!

Not to sound insensitive about that event but some people have to seriously give it a break. I don't mind the banners and the stickers and the flags and the icons but some of the artwork is getting downright ridiculous.

If you have something thought provoking to say, then say it. If you are artistic, show it. But don't try to get political.

But most of all, please don't bring religion into it!


I feel terrible about what happened to all of the people affected by those violent murders but these pieces of..."art" make a mockery of it. They make it seem funny.


Can Eagle's even cry? I mean, did he have a nest up there? Is he crying because the species responsible for driving Eagle's to near extinction are killing each other?


Here is another one exploiting poor God and religion. Do you think Angels give a crap what happens to the United States specifically? We are the world's biggest sinners and polluters. You honestly believe there is an American Flag waving in the Heaven you believe in? Doesn't your own religion teach against such favoritism? What scares me most about religion is how their own followers don't really understand its teachings.


Somehow it makes sense to these people that Jesus would shed a tear for a country founded on war and bloodshed.


Jesus again making an involuntary cameo. Everyone who died goes to heaven. Regardless of what you were doing or what you did in your lives. Trained killer? No problem. Child sodomizer? Come on in.



What would a Messiah seriously think about this? Oh a tattoo? You must mean business. You must be a REAL believer. Nothing speaks truth like ink. Ink, after all, speaks louder than actions.

Of course, what am I to expect from a world with a country that would stand idly by as an entertainment figure could pose for a blasphemous picture like this, defecating over their most treasured belief.


These works were created to allow the hearts of those who stayed behind to rest at ease. Some would argue religion itself was created for that exact same reason.

Movies - Looking Forward

These are a few of the movies I am really looking forward to.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars


As mid-level Star Wars fan I have to say that I am a "little" excited about Friday's Clone Wars. I don't like the character designs, they remind me of the awkward animated mini-series or the abysmal failure that was Batman Beyond. Nevertheless, Star Wars with the directors vision, exactly as they intended will be interesting to watch. Besides, I have a feeling they may introduce Darth Vader's Apprentice.

Pixar's: Up


Pixar has always made really likable character's and perhaps inspired by the chess player in their short films, this movie will be a heart warmer. I don't think it will be as good as Wall - E but Pixar has a good average. Ratatouille not included.

DragonBall


I have always preferred the original Dragon Ball animé to the newer Dragon Ball Z storyline. The old one seems more like your classic, personal story and Dragon Ball Z just lost its personality. I have no qualms about people saying this movie will be terrible. I'm sure it will, just like the forthcoming G.I. Joe, but I'm still going to have to go watch it.

Red Sonja


I grew up watching Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. Conan: The Barbarian was one to remember. There was what I think was a spin-off called Red Sonja. As a young kid, I was captivated by her red hair. Perhaps this is why I enjoyed Heavenly Sword so much? I saw part of it recently on T.V. and it was absolutely terrible. But I had good memories of it.

Apparently Robert Rodriguez is remaking this movie. I was a fan of El Mariachi and Desperado but my interest ended there. He made a movie called Planet Terror which I guess some film students might call it artistic but I didn't enjoy either way. Rose McGowan starred in this movie and she will apparently play the part of Red Sonja. :S What, couldn't you tell that was her in that heavily airbrushed poster? Or were you confused by the boobs painted on a girl that has none?

Here is another poster for you. She looks more like Rose here.



Harry Potter: and the Half-Blood Prince.



I read all the books since the release of the last movie and I am truly excited to see this one. In my opinion, the best of all 7 novels. Sad to see this story slowly coming to an end.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine



The X-Men movies were some of the best comic book movies released recently. I hope this doesn't milk the franchise for more than its worth.

Star Trek



I enjoyed most of these movies but I am concerned about the directors interpretation. What movies are you guys looking forward to? Not a fan? Why not? I have actually met a few people who are against movies. XD. Silly.

Wednesday Weirdness

I appropriated this fun survey from Amorous Rocker at Shannon's Moments of Introspection. Try it.

1. Is there anything hanging from your vehicle's rear view mirror?
Yes. I have a Rockstar Keychain that I got from purchasing the limited edition of GTAIV hanging from my mirror. Yes, I am breaking the law, aren't I a rebel?



2. When you go into the bathroom, do you ever check behind the shower curtain?
EVERY SINGLE TIME. But its not to check for lost humans. Its a search for bugs and spiders. There's nothing worse then trying to evade a stalking predator with your pants down and a turtle.

3. At what age did your mom or dad give you "the talk" about sex?
My dad tried when I was in my early 20's. Yeah, I put him out of his misery quick. I told him to save himself the embarrassment.

4. If you could add anything at all to an airplane to make trips more interesting, what would it be and why?
Amorous Rocker: "Video games!!! I could play during my entire trip and be happy." I couldn't agree more.

5. What is one thing you and your significant other can never seem to agree on?
This is tough to answer. We can disagree but we still fully support each other and value our opinions. I can't think of anything major. Food brands. She is OK with generics, I need brand name Peter Pan Peanut Butter and stuff like that. But its not something to get into a food fight about.

6. Have you ever walked in on someone else having sex? How did you and the people involved react?
I'm glad I haven't. I don't think I know anyone who wouldn't be physically offensive to some degree. I saw 300, I've seen enough man-butt for years.

7. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What is one topic that can put you to sleep quicker than any other?
Biology, Telecommunications and Chemistry. If it isn't theoretical, philosophical or entertaining then I don't care. If the topic doesn't allow participation, like room for debate, my interest will wane.

Ignoring the Signs

Awareness isn't enough. People continue blindly on as if nothing is wrong. We still commute to work alone in our 5 passenger cars. We still use paper. We still use plastic bags. We still leave the lights on. We still have computers running when we're not even sitting in front of them. We still throw away recyclables. You can still legally buy clothes made from animal skins.

How much junk mail don't you just toss in the garbage? Why does the U.S. not set regulations or penalize junk mailers? I don't want their garbage. I don't want that wasted paper. I am not earning from their advertisements and I didn't sell my address for them to use. I read this article. This tiny little article about the drastic increase of mass extinctions. I'm sure junk mailers don't think they directly do anything to cause the death of wildlife but it sure doesn't help.

Here is a few short quotes from the article.

Devastating declines of amphibian species around the world are a sign of a biodiversity disaster...Amphibians have been around for about 250 million years. They made it through when the dinosaurs didn't. The fact that they're cutting out now should be a lesson for us.

New species arise and old species die off all the time, but sometimes the extinction numbers far outweigh the emergence of new species, scientists said.

Extreme cases of this are called mass extinction events. There have been only five in our planet's history, until now...

You have all seen Jurassic Park right? You remember that part where they showed how it was that the Raptors were breeding in an all female environment? They blamed it on the frog DNA they borrowed. Remember what they said about how adaptable a small particular breed of frog was? If frogs can't survive this new change what makes us think we will?

Humans can change their sex too, but its not usually for survival, its for vanity. Perhaps that fact alone should be reason enough to accept our fate.

Story

Music - Kerli: Love is Dead

So I am playing around with my new iPhone 3G while resting on the couch after a long day's work. I was browsing through the wireless iTunes music store, which is a great feature long overdue, and I see this album cover.


I thought it looked a lot like my wife's Blythe Doll so I clicked/tapped on it. After closer inspection I thought, "Maybe its Goth or hard metal." My brother-in-law is a HUGE fan of Metallica. He has a couple of electric guitars and an amp so we hear that music a LOT. I can stand most of it if it has a rhythm I can follow so I thought I would give this K.E.R.L.I. a chance.

Love Is Dead - I tap on the first song in the album to hear the sample and I am instantly reminded of Portishead. The haunting voice and orchestra instrumentals with a little bit of rock. "Interesting blend" I thought.

Walking On Air - I tap on the second song and a very "poppy" track starts playing. This song sounds a lot like a bit of Nelly Furtado mixed with a tad a Fergie.

The Creationist - This song caught my attention. The term Creationist refers to certain religious people with blinders. You know the type. Those weirdos who wanted to burn Elvira? Anyway I don't know if the song is written about them but it can sure be applied to them. I love the little tune of this song. The lyrics are easy to follow and easy to understand which in this day and age is outstandingly rare.

I Want Nothing - This song screams Avril Lavigne but a little harsher. I haven't listened to a lot of Avril but it sounds like what I imagine Avril sounds like. :) Angry 18 year old. Still a good listen.

Up Up Up - Believe it or not this has a Reggae flavor to it. Its not something I would throw on during a party, its too slow, but it has a great sound to it. A bit repetitive.

Bulletproof - This just might be my favorite song on the album. Not because it hits any particularly incredible notes, but the lyrics just sound so heartfelt. It reminds me of how delicate women can be. This is a good thing.

Beautiful Day - Nelly Furtado reincarnated. This song sounds nice. I like to listen to this one because of the different things she does with the tones. The odd pauses and and accents in different parts of the song. I can imagine someone just singing this song to a group of friends just while they are kicking back in a room on a weekend.

Creepshow - This song is not what I imagined it to be. It starts of with a riff and then goes all Britney Spears with a La La La chorus. The lyrics are alright but I really expected this song to be about the glamorization of the Goth lifestyle. Its about her hometown. One of the more lame songs on the album.

Hurt Me - Her singing here is the real selling point. I wouldn't mind hearing this on the radio. I don't really understand what she's trying to say though.

Butterfly Cry - I noticed a category while looking for this album and reviews of it and it said Emo. I was like, "oops." This song really captures that sense. Its not half bad though. I'm not going to start wearing eyeliner and cutting myself though so I'm safe. She plays with her voice really nicely here.

Strange Boy - This is a club song. I can imagine it played in the dance clubs or during parties. If you like Pink, you'll like this song. It doesn't even sound like her in some parts. Still a good track.

Fragile - A great way to end the album. Slow, nice track and a little flavor sound of Amy Lee. The lyrics go hand in hand with Bulletproof.

Heal - This is a bonus track not available everywhere but it came in the iTunes Album. I like the way it changes up and it seems to turn dark. Reminds me of Alanis Morisette's Jagged Little Pill for some reason.

Kerli CAN sing which is more than you can say about most people on the radio. She has a different sound with a great range of styles that anyone can pick up and listen to.

Overall this is a great, original album if you are sick of the music you hear on the Clearchannel Monopoly. She can't hit the notes Amy Lee of Evanescence fame can, but it is still nice to listen to. Sometimes you can hear a change in Kerli's voice that makes it different. Like when she says moAr instead of more. :)



Amazon $7.99 - Wal-Mart $8.64 - iTunes $7.99 with bonus track Heal. If you get the individual tracks though, get them from Wal-Mart for 94 cents. Save 5 whole pennies!

Movies - The Dark Knight

I am a Tim Burton fan. I like the Edgar Allen Poe style darkness he employs in his movies. The painted dark circles under the eyes, the contrast with the bright colors and the humorous villains.


That said, when I heard they were reinventing the Batman series I was a bit aprehensive. When Tim Burton did not return for Batman Forever I thought the series went down the drain for good.

My wife and I saw Batman Begins without watching any previews. I questioned the casting. I did not like pucker face (Christian Bale) as Bruce Wayne/Batman.


He seems more like the Riddler than Batman. Near the end of Batman Begins they hinted at a sequel including The Joker. The Joker is arguably the greatest comic book villain ever created. He seems to be the most believable. The only character with an excuse to dress up the way he does. He's psychotic and funny a combination which comes across great on film.

When I heard they had cast Heath Ledger as the Joker I was a little concerned again. When I heard he died, again I was concerned. It was a very sad thing when he died, it was drugs, but it was still sad. Could "Patrick" play this complex and wonderful part?

Turns out he can. And damn well.

This movie was great. It was a lot of fun to watch. It was a bit predictable but how can it not since we've seen so many iterations of this same story. There were a few surprising twists believe it or not.

I did NOT like "Guyliner" (Nestor Carbonell) in this movie. I don't remember a single line he said. I was too distracted by the lines on his eyelids. Having previously play the part of Batmanuel on the Tick, I thought it was silly to have him in this movie.


Some of the conceptual designs for the Joker were really interesting to see too. It hinted at a darker Joker then previously shown which as a previously mentioned fan of Tim Burton, I appreciated. It would have been interesting to see him this way.




All things considered, this movie was great fun, long enough for you to feel you got your monies worth and a great addition to the small stack of good Batman movies. I was hoping to see the Joker return as a recurring character in the coming sequels but if he does, how will people feel about someone else playing the part? Even if they do a good job will the news media betray their current favorite Hollywood tragedy?

Do NOT miss this theater experience.

Out of 5 stars...


Not a "PERFECT" movie, but does it need to be to watch it? Did you guys see it? Did you see the Watchmen trailer? What are your thoughts?