Monday, August 22, 2011

10 Things Girls Shouldn't Wear (6-28-07) 78 Reads

(UPDATE:  I wrote this after I wrote the guy version as a response.  Yeah...I was a bit meaner back then.  Read at your own risk.)

Current mood:creative
  10.  Lowrise jeans - Only a very small percentage of people can get away with wearing lowrise jeans.  If you have flesh buldging out, they're not for you.

    9.  Piercings - The nose one looks like a booger, the belly one looks like lint and the tongue one…yeah, bet it smells wonderful.  I won't talk about the others which I think are a tragedy.

    8. Tattoo's - Like artwork?  Put it on paper.  Will a tattoo make you some part of a group or is it a picture that you can't carry in your wallet?  What?  I don't get it.

    7. Colored contacts - This might work to change a color slightly but Chicana's, just stop it ok, you don't look good with green contacts and your brown skin.

Yeah, just try to ignore the hairy pits.

    6. Tube Tops - Only healthy, naturally blessed women can pull this off…err, keep this on.  Two words, trailer trash.

    5. Snow boots - What the hell are you thinking?  It's freakin' summer.  Southern California is not a place for Eskimo's.

    4. Thongs - Don't get me wrong, in the right outfit they look nice, but not for everyday wear.  At not if you don't have the body for it.  I'm sorry if you weren't born with the body you wish you had.  Don't make yourself look stupid by trying to pretend you were.

    3. Blonde Highlights - Take it easy with the bleach!  I see too many witchhaired girls around these days.  Striped hair doesn't look cute or sexy, it looks freakin' scary ok Barnum & Bailey.

    2. Heavy Makeup - Walk by the MAC counter lately?  Dude I have to try so hard not to laugh outloud.  Do they paint their faces in the dark?  When did Bozo become the newest Top Model?

    1. Belly Shirts - If you have a belly, darlin' that top is not for you.  I know I know, you want to look like that girl in the magazine but you don't sweetie.  Take a picture, shave off a few pounds with Photoshop then you can.  But not in public.  If your stomach rolls over your pants, don't show it to the world.  Don't wear a tight top to show off your "beubs" that grew when you put on 50 pounds.  People are looking at your belly button overlapping your beltbuckle, not your breasts.

10:43 PM
  • Apple Something I see that you picked realistic examples instead of over-the-top examples to prove your points. Good job.
  • Wife I did not approve this blog. You're in trouble